Potty
by Accio-Underwear
Summary: ONESHOT “Really?” He asked in concern, “Am I doing something wrong?” Slight Bunny


_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park_

_I wrote this while on hold with the Unemployment department. D8 Also, does anyone else find how Butters pees ridiculously cute?_

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"'Scuse me, fellas, I gotta use the restroom."

Sixteen year old Butters Stotch got up from his spot at the lunch table, oblivious to the looks the other boys were giving each other, and made his way out of the cafeteria. He turned into the almost abandoned restroom, there was someone taking a dump in a stall, smiling at his still fairly childish face and petite form in the mirrors before positioning himself in front of the urinal.

Before he could unzip his pants though, Eric Cartman burst into the bathroom, "Butters, we need to talk." He declared.

Butters unzipped his fly and maneuvered himself before holding up his shirt and exposing his pale stomach and the bottom half of his chest before he looked at his friend curiously, "About what, Eric?" He asked in a curious but cheery tone.

Eric Cartman rubbed his temples in frustration before gesturing to the small blonde, "About that." He stated.

Butters was confused, "About what?" He asked again.

Cartman sighed, rolling his eyes before leaning against the sink. "The guys and I have been talking, Butters, and we can't let you go to the bathroom like that anymore. You're fucking sixteen, man! Act like it!"

The look of confusion on Butters face stayed as he looked down at his currently busy body part, "Really?" He asked in concern, "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Your shirt, Butters."

"What about it?"

Cartman heaved another exasperated sigh, wondering why he had been elected to do this task. It should've been Kenny, the blonde had grown fond of Butters over the years but he was nowhere to be seen during lunch. So Stan, Kyle, Craig and Clyde elected him to talk to Butters because apparently he was the petite and naïve blonde's closest and dearest friend.

Fucking dammit, this was awkward.

"Nobody past third grade holds their shirt up like that when they piss!" He snapped irritably, "And you're going to start getting teased if you don't fucking stop!"

Butters' mouth fell into a frown and he looked at his shirt. His fists were shoulder level and the shirt was well out of harms way. "But…I don't wanna pee on it." He replied thoughtfully.

Eric rubbed his temples again, "Butters, have you ever peed on your own stomach?" He asked in a deadpanned voice.

"…No."

"Then do you really need to hold your shirt up that high?"

"I guess not," Butters allowed, "But-"

"No buts, Butters," Cartman snapped, "It's for your own good."

The door of the stall creaked open as a flush resounded through the room and Kenny stepped out, looking fairly amused. He looked at Cartman with a curious glance, "Dude, are you guys really so sad that you have to attack how Butters pisses?" He asked.

Cartman straightened and fumbled with his words before glaring at Kenny, "Fuck you, Kenny!" He snapped, "Just look at him! He's gonna end up getting beat up!"

Kenny glanced at Butters quickly and then at Cartman, giving a shrug. "No, he won't."

"Yes, he will!" Cartman argued.

"Dude, we all do our weird things when we piss or shit," Kenny replied. "Kyle sings, I pretend I'm putting out a fire," A dark smirk graced the blonde's lips, "And you talk your penis through it like some coach." He was pleased when Cartman glared and blushed a painful color, "Plus, what Butters does is kinda cute."

"Don't be such a fucking fag, Kenny!" Cartman snapped.

Kenny laughed then, "And checking out what other guys are doing when they piss isn't gay?"

Cartman's face brightened and he turned around, marching out of the restroom with a loud "Fuck you, Kenny!" and the blonde just laughed before moving to scrub his hands. Butters finished his business, because it was hard to have a discussion about how you pee and doing it at the same time, before joining the other blonde.

"Thanks, Kenny," He murmured, a pink tinge filtering onto his cheeks when he glanced at his friend, "Is it really cute?" He asked curiously.

Kenny gave a shrug, grabbing a fistful of hard brown paper towels and drying off his hands, "Dude, do you even have to ask?"

He then slung an arm around his flustered friend's shoulder and led him back to the cafeteria.


End file.
